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“If I ever stop getting nervous before a performance, it’s time
for me to quit.”
- Garth Brooks
Mark Twain is often quoted as saying, “There are two types of
speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.”
But, why do people become afraid when speaking in public?
We as humans all have fears and insecurities. Some
fears are rational, some are not.
Some fears are hardwired into us all, because our
reaction to those fears kept our ancestors alive a long, long
time ago. And
because those fears ended up keeping them alive, they were
around to make more of them…er, us.
It’s natural, and our fears help us in many cases
survive and overcome tremendous obstacles. Everyone
has heard stories about the wonders of adrenaline and how
mothers have had the strength to lift up cars to rescue their
children.
But when you stand (figuratively) naked before a group of strangers
it compounds all of our worst fears into one big moment of
terror. We feel, as
our ancestors did when they stumbled, alone, upon a group from
another tribe, the fear that only comes when we realize we are
“one against many”. We
feel exposed, we feel as though we can’t hide (that’s why
people love podiums), and we’re mortified in front of a room
full of listeners as if they were a threat to our actual
existence.
To the audience, however, it rarely looks as bad as we actually
feel. No matter how
nervous you feel inside, the outside you doesn’t project
anywhere near the anxiety you feel.
So the first thing you need to know is that you can’t
believe your own press: the last thing you want to do is get
anxious about looking anxious – the audience simply does not
see you as you think you look, no matter how nervous you might feel.
Speaking in public can in many ways be a great equalizer because no
matter how smart or rich you are, it won’t help you when you
hear your heart pounding and feel your mouth going dry. Absolutely
no one is immune to what can happen to you on the platform.
Many great performers are nervous before a performance. Barbara
Streisand is notorious for her stage fright, and so is Michael
Jackson. Is it
possible you can learn to harness your nervousness, control it,
and use it to your advantage?
According to The Book of Lists, here is how the following
percentage of people, when asked to name the things they feared
most, responded:
Flying
18%
Death
19%
Sickness
19%
Deep Water
22%
Financial Problems
22%
Insects & Bugs
22%
Heights
32%
Public Speaking 41%
A quick glimpse at the numbers here tell
you that over twice as many people fear speaking before a group
as those that fear death itself.
Seinfeld famously said of this list, “It suggests that
at a funeral, the person giving the eulogy would rather be in
the box.”
Funny, until it’s your turn to give
the eulogy.
You cannot possibly learn anything, especially changing physical
behavior, unless you actually expose yourself and try it. Reading
a book or going to a lecture will give you an introduction to
enhancing your presentation skills, but in the end, you have to
actually try new techniques and practice them to have a chance
at being a confident and successful public speaker.
Learning to speak properly before a group is very much like
learning to ride a bicycle. It feels awkward at first, but it
gets easier, and before you know it, you get really good at it. Embrace
the challenge! Everybody,
repeat, everybody gets “butterflies” before they
speak. And that’s
a good thing, because it’s what gives us an edge. What
you need to learn is how to make those butterflies fly in
unison!
The good news here is that although everybody gets butterflies
before they speak, those that have learned a different path
don’t continue to get them when they actually begin speaking.
That’s because a lucky few have learned that the whole
butterfly process comes from having learned to do things the
wrong way since the day they started speaking to groupss.
Learning to unlearn those processes can create an
environment where the whole “one against many” scenario
never erupts – but that is the stuff of a later column.
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